just tell him i said nine months
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
