Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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