Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
