oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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