I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
