she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
