I'm laying in your front yard are you home
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
