I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
