You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
operation harelip BJ is a go
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
