I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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