I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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