Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
