Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
