my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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