Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
