please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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