One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
In America we eat man semen.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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