I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
