mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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