can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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