I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
