She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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