I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm both gender and math confused
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
