either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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