Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
