My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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