you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we're making bets on your personal life
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
