His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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