i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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