Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
