so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
dude. I can hear the air.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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