So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
