Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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