i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you traded sex for a burrito?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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