it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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