we have pet lesbian snakes
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
