I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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