Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
