I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
