O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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