I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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