the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
