i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
