My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
