Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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