Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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