So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
