My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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