Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
