Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
