There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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