Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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