I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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