Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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