Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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