you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
do nipples grow back?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
