I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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