what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
