he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
