there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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