We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
